|My toddler: he is cute, isn't he?|
Why does he pull my hair and pinch me when I'm holding him?
Why does he refuse to play along at peek-a-boo, pat-a-cake or some other fun, silly game while I make a fool of myself trying to entertain him during a busy time or a grocery store trip or whatever thing I am doing that NEEDS to get done?
Why does he come find me when I'm trying to use the bathroom? How does he even know!?!?
Why does he go from happy-kid to most unhappy kid in a matter of seconds, when I'm making an important phone call or need to do something important?
Or he could be the happiest boy, playing and listening to his Daddy, and as soon as I come home or walk in from another room he changes into some version of toddler that I'm sure even Mary Poppins wouldn't enjoy.
Did I mention trying to use the bathroom? This kiddo has a knack for finding me in the middle of wiping! Which sucks because when he tantrums because I can't pick him and throws himself to the floor....well, I really CAN'T pick him! He then gets even more mad that he has to wait until I wash my hands. Oh my. Mornings at my house are fun.
But seriously, why does this happen?
I have a few theories...
Theory number 1:
(The one my husband uses to make me feel better)
He just loves me so much, he always wants to be near me.
OK, thanks kiddo, I love you too. But you don't have to turn into a complete little a-hole to tell me so. If you really love me, well, there are lots of other ways you could show me. The most important being not trying to climb on my lap while I'm trying to wipe my butt!
And wouldn't he love his Daddy just as much? He is an angel baby when Daddy is on duty. Why don't I get that toddler special treatment?
Theory number 2:
It's karmic payback for being rude, disobedient, rebellious and doing stupid stuff to my own mother.
Oh Karma, you really are a bitch. I get it now. Sorry for reals, Mama.
Theory number 3:
It's a challenge, a test I need to pass in order to continue to be a VIP in the toddler's life. You know the whole we vent and show our true emotions with those we feel the most safe with? Maybe little toddler brains and hearts work the same? He trusts me so much (heck I grew him inside me!) that he knows he can be a little a-hole and if I continue to look after him after these episodes, I deserve and have earned the right to continue to be his Very Special Mama.
Theory number 4:
He has to mark his spot in the order of siblings. Being the smallest, he has to make the biggest impact.
This may hold true, except that I remember my first behaving similarly during her toddler years, not to the same degree, but still showing a-hole traits on a somewhat regular basis...so not sure if this theory holds true.
Theory number 5:
It's just part of being a toddler.
But that's not much fun. So I like the others a bit better ;-)
That's all I got. Have any to add?
All in all, whatever the reason or reasons...it's tough to be a parent most times. I take the good with the not so good, and it helps to maintain the attitude of:
There's always chocolate (or wine, or whatever you enjoy!) at the end of the day when they're all asleep!
But seriously, I enjoy my littles, they really grow up too fast. And I remind myself that what I do today and the way I interact with them will pave the way for my tomorrow (ahem, I'm looking at you teenage years!). So I will look the toddler in the face and just say, "I love you and I embrace your tantrum because you're safe with me."
The goal is to be a happier Mama...and just maybe get some good Karma in return (I probably have a big debt to pay after my teens).