While I am not one to make a big deal about New Year's Eve, resolutions and all that jazz... I do feel pulled toward a sense of needing change for the coming year. I've learned over the years that changing is mostly a personal, internal thing. I mean, you just really can't change others. So, I know this need for change means I need to change things within me.
This past year has been a mesh and rollercoaster ride of awesome-ness and heartache. But thankfully the highs have balanced out the lows and I can gratefully say I am blessed.
So very blessed.
My reason for wanting to be a happy, grateful, better human is simply that I want to live and be freaking happy. Don't get me wrong, I know I am and have so much to be grateful for. But even then, I find the tricky mind going down the path of the "why me" lane.
I also want to be a pretty great example for my kids. You know all that "be the change" deal. I really do believe it has great merit.
I do not know what the future holds. I do know that intentions are powerful. So instead of resolutions, I am making intentions this year on what I want to change about myself and my life:
- I intend to speak from the heart because when I don't I feel shitty and unauthentic.
- I intend to reduce the bitchy lash-outs that my dear husband gets...and work on getting more sleep and taking care of myself so I don't get bitchy in the first place.
- I intend to live life to the fullest and not hold myself back by unnecessary guilt or fear. Gosh, I have to remind myself it's OK to want to do things alone once in a while. Or do whatever. Just live to the fullest in whatever I need to do.
- I intend to live and be myself and not be bothered by what those who do not love me think about me or about what I should do. This means, I will continue to be my clean freak self (among other things) and to hell with it.
- I intend to be kind and forgiving to myself as, while I am this way to others, I do not usually do the same for me. Yeah, it's true.
- I intend to ensure my husband knows he is loved unconditionally, even when I get upset he's playing his computer game, again. We all need alone time after all.
- I intend to say out loud those compliments I may think that would make people smile and not hold back on account of being awkward.
- I intend to be openly grateful for what I am blessed with.
- I intend to fill my beautiful children with love and joy and to know that at least one person in this big world loves them unconditionally.
And with that, I welcome in the New Year!
<3 Happy 2015 to all <3