Friday, November 14, 2014

Baby Boo

I wrote this almost two years ago. I never published it then because, well, I don't know. It was more of a private written expression of what I was feeling at the time:

"I have a Christmas Cactus plant that has come close to death many times. Mostly because I forget to water it. One of these times, the plant looked so sad and ill, that I wondered to myself if it would ever recover. I definitely gave up hope that it would ever bloom again.

When we moved to our new home this past summer, I brought it along and set it by a window that would ensure it had lots of sun, but also some shade during the day. I watered it, when I remembered, but I was more on top of this than in previous months. Over time, the little plant remained alive. Not tangibly thriving or changing, but not showing signs of death either.

Today, as I was admiring my blooming geranium plant, I noticed there were tiny pink-ish buds at the tips of the cactus leaves.

I cannot even begin to express my delight, gratitude and complete awe. I showed the flowers-to-be to Mermaid Girl and we both delighted in the wonders of Mother Nature.

"The little plant is connected to Mother Nature!" were her exact words.

Inside I felt a stirring. A hope renewed. Because you see, I realized that often I see myself as that little cactus plant: alive, but somehow lacking, somehow not thriving, somehow having something that doesn't work as it should. Not being able to bloom flowers. This goes back to years ago when my hubby and I found ourselves trying to get pregnant, and unable to get pregnant after 2 years of trying. We overcame that hurdle, but not without the lasting emotional, mental and physical marks of infertility. Now, I often find myself wondering if the cesarean births of Sharky Boy and Bebecita have had negative impacts on my ability to conceive again. Not that I want to have a baby at this point in my life, but if I ever did, would I even be able to?

Seeing those beautiful little flower buds, so close to being born into flowers, gave me a renewed sense of hope that I am not lacking or flawed. I am just me. I will take care of myself, keep myself as healthy as I can, getting lots of sun, but also some shade. And if and when the time comes to consider an addition to the family, I will remember those little flower buds and trust that my body will be able to do what it needs."

But today, I sit here, blessed with being a mother to a new precious, beautiful little life. I nurtured him within for 39 weeks and now he's been Earthside for 9 months! Time is flying! He is just an amazing little human. He is a fighter, a miracle. One day soon I will share his entire story. But for now, I want to introduce our sweet baby boy. The other kids call him Baby Boo, and it's stuck.

Welcome Baby Boo!

Baby Boo, 2 months old

Baby Boo, 2 months old

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