This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.
***
My Sharky Boy has always been an all-or-nothing-mind-of-his-own kind of kid. Once he's got his mind set, pretty much nothing can distract him or sway him to change his mind. Oh and don't let me forget that this all-or-nothing personality trait makes for some pretty intense emotions, and saying intense is an understatement.
Needless to say, being his parent is tough sometimes.
{You're starting to understand my need for Zen a bit more aren't you?}
This pretty much applies to everything, and it certainly applied to his breastfeeding journey.
When he was a newborn he knew when he was hungry and when he was done. I remember so clearly how upset he would get if he kept sucking and getting milk once he was full. He wanted to keep sucking, but did not want any.more.milk!
That is why I love soothers.
Unfortunately, Sharky Boy also had really bad reflux and gas and tummy pain. From about day 2 of his little life, I knew something was wrong. I sought out help and support, but it took us a good 7-8 months before we finally figured the cause and actually made changes to fix it.
{A huge shout out to my awesome Naturopath!}
In our case, wheat was the culprit. I eliminated wheat from my diet, and his too because by that time he as eating solids. It was hard at first, but eventually the changes in his digestion and his sleep, made the culinary adjustments worth it.
These diet and tummy discomfort issues made breastfeeding a bit tricky because I always worried I was eating something he would react to.
Even when he greatly improved, I still wondered. But we continued breastfeeding and I really did enjoy each time he nursed because I suspected it wouldn't be for long...though I hoped differently.
The weaning process began around 10 months. He dropped down to nursing at afternoon naptime and bedtime.
By the time he was one year old he had weaned down to only nursing at bedtime.
I think most of us nursing Mamas start getting that I-want-my-body-back feeling on some level, at some point. For me, those last few weeks of nursing where very much cherished, even though I was also kind of looking forward to completing the weaning process.
Sharky Boy started saying "No" at around 12 months. With his personality does this surprise you!? Haha!
Anywhoo, at almost exactly 13 months, one night I sat on the rocking chair to nurse him at bedtime and he said, "No Mama." He closed his eyes, put his soother in and started drifting off.
No Mama? My heart broke a little.
And that was it. He didn't look back, he didn't ask for it again.
It did shock me, I don't think I was ready, even though he had begun to wean a little at a time.
I believed for a while that perhaps it was a nursing strike. But alas, it was not the case.
Looking back, I'm happy it happened that way. For some reason or another, weaning was right for him.
Sharky Boy really does everything on his own terms...and I want that for him.
- On Breastfeeding, Weaning, and One Mother’s Identity — Jessica at Natural Parents Network has been nursing one or more of her children since 1993 - breastfeeding is wrapped up in her concept of mothering and herself. She shares her thoughts on weaning.
- two tales of weaning — Aspen at Aspen Mama writes about their countdown to wean.
- Wean Me Gently — Tam at Please Send Parenting Books shares a beautiful weaning ceremony.
- You say potato, I say bleeeuuuuch... — Anelie at Mindcradle had read the books and knew just how to introduce her baby son to solids—unfortunately, he had other ideas.
- A Post Called Weaning — (Not) Maud at Awfully Chipper writes about how weaning her son took longer than she expected.
- On Weaning, Pregnancy and Emotion — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about her mixed emotions as she allows her son, Little Man, to guide her through his weaning process.
- half of her life — Staci at Springpatch Jam looks back on her nursing relationship with her first born.
- Is it just this After Forty Mom or is it harder to wean when its your last? — Amanda of After Forty Mom shares her emotional journey towards the impending self-weaning of her toddler daughter.
- Nursing Limits — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares how she has weaned her toddler down to minimal nursing and her guilt about the decision to do so.
- Weaning Video Series #1: Preparation for the Weaning Process — Why is weaning such a taboo topic? Dionna at Code Name: Mama got mamas from across the blogosphere to start talking about weaning - on video. Come check out the first video in a series of five that she'll be posting this week.
- Weaning due to anxiety — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about how she had to wean to preserve her mental health.
- When Will I Wean? A Guest Post — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama hosts a guest post from a mama who contemplates when her breastfeeding relationship will end.
- On His Own Terms — Momeeezen shares her heartbreak from when her son weaned much earlier than she anticipated.
- Our Weaning Story - Sudden, Surprised, and Embracing a New Season — Weaning doesn't always go how we imagine. That Mama Gretchen shares the story of her daughter's sudden weaning and how she has embraced this new season of motherhood.
- A Tale of Two Weanings — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares the similarities and differences of how her nursing relationships with her now six-year-old and four-year-old daughters came to a close.
- She Doesn't Remember — Alicia at Lactation Narration finds that her 6 year old no longer remembers nursing, only one year after weaning.
- It's The End of the World As We Know It — A story about the end of a tandem nursing relationship on Never Mind The Rain: A toddler moves on to a new phase in her life before mom is fully ready.
- A Natural End To Our Breastfeeding Relationship — With two self-weaning children, Jennifer at Our Muddy Boots does not know when the end will come, but that it will be natural and without regrets.
- Child-Led weaning: It's Not Extreme; It's Biological — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children explains why child-led weaning is based on biology rather than social constraints.
- 6 Years of Natural Weaning in 5 Steps — Jess at miniMum shares how and why she let her first child stop when he was good and ready.
- Is This Weaning?: A Tandem Nursing Update — Sheila at A Living Family bares all her tandem nursing hopes and fears during what feels like the beginning of the end for her toddler nursing relationship.
- Memories of Weaning: Unique and Gentle — Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife shares her weaning experiences with her two sons, each one unique in how it happened and yet equally gentle in its approach.
- Weaning Aversion' — Gentle Mama Moon shares her experience of nursing and unplanned weaning due to pregnancy-induced 'feeding aversion'.
- Three Months Post-Mup: An Evolution of Thoughts On Weaning — cd at FidgetFace describes a brief look at her planned (but accelerated) weaning, as well as one mamma's evolution on weaning (and extended nursing)
- Weaning my Tandem Nursed Toddler — After tandem nursing for a year, Melissa at Permission to Live felt like weaning her older child would be impossible, but now she shares how gentle weaning worked for her 2 1/2 year old.
- Every Journey Begins with One Step — As Hannabert begins the weaning process, Hannah at Hannah and Horn's super power is diminishing.
- Reflections on Weaning - Love Changes Form — Amy from Presence Parenting (guest posting at Dulce de Leche) shares her experience and approach of embracing weaning as a continual process in parenting, not just breastfeeding.
- Weaning Gently: Three Special Ideas for Success — MudpieMama shares three ideas that help make weaning a gentle and special journey.
- Guest Post: Carnival of Weaning — Emily shares her first weaning experience and her hopes for her second nursling in a guest post on Farmer's Daughter.
- 12 Tips for Gentle Weaning — Dr. Laura at Aha! Parenting describes the process of gentle weaning and gives specific tips to make weaning an organic, joyful ripening.
- Quiz: Should You Wean for Fertility Treatments? — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries talks about the key issues in the difficult decision to wean for infertility treatments.
- I thought about weaning... — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World shares her story of how she thought about weaning several times, yet it still happened on its own timeline.
- Celebrating Weaning — Amy at Anktangle reflects on her thoughts and feelings about weaning, and she shares a quick tutorial for one of the ways she celebrated this transition with her son: through a story book with photographs!
- Naturally Weaning Twins — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings discusses the gradual path to weaning she has taken with her preschool-aged twins.
- Gentle Weaning Means Knowing When to Stop — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl writes about knowing when your child is not ready to wean and taking their feelings into account in the process.
- Weaning, UnWeaning, and ReWeaning — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy discovers non-mutal weaning doesn't have to be the end. You can have a do-over.
- Prelude to weaning — Lauren at Hobo Mama talks about a tough tandem nursing period and what path she would like to encourage her older nursling to take.
- Demands of a Nursing Kind — Amy Willa at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work shares her conflicted feelings about nursing limits and explores different ways to achieve comfort, peace, and bodily integrity as a nursing mother.
- Breastfeeding: If there's one thing I know for sure... — Wendy at ABCs and Garden Peas explores the question: How do you know when it's time to wean?
- Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Two, Three? — Zoie at TouchstoneZ discusses going from 3 nurslings down to 1 and what might happen when her twins arrive.
My older daughter was afforded the opportunity to wean on her own terms. I very much have wanted that for my toddler, but am having to push her for my own mental health. I hope my son will be able to wean on his own term, too... who knows how long our nursing relationship will be??
ReplyDeleteWhat a great gift you have given him by letting him make this decision for himself.
ReplyDeleteSweet mama, thinking about the possibility of Ailia doing that hurts my heart, too - she sounds a lot like your son. She does not nurse for comfort, she is quick, efficient, and done. I'm glad to read about your feelings - that it was the way it should have happened.
ReplyDeleteKat- My heart goes out to you. But how lucky your son is to be able to make this choice for himself, completely on his own terms. He's defining "child-led weaning." And you're defining "responsive parenting." You and he have a great future ahead of you! Sending hugs. - Dr. Laura from Aha! Parenting
ReplyDelete